April Fools’ Day provides holiday for jokers

Attention all gullible, easy targets. Today is April Fools’ Day.

It’s one of those days
where if someone calls and asks if your refrigerator is running, you can hang up before they reach the logical punchline.

It’s one of those days to question just about any news report you hear on a morning radio comedy show.

It is also one of my favorite days of the year.

For 24 hours, you are basically given a free pass to wreak havoc on people’s lives and test their boiling points, and all you have to say is “April Fools” to atone for your sins.

It’s similar to St. Patrick’s Day, during which pinching is encouraged for not wearing green attire.

Actually, I prefer to play tricks on my prey all year long, but it seems as if the rules for April Fools and pranks in general have gotten a bit too strict in recent years.

Prank phone calls used to be a fun Friday night pasttime for bored teenagers.

Just find a random funny name in the phonebook or someone who was mean to you on the school bus, dial them up and improvise.

Cue hysterical fits of laughter.

Now, in the age of caller ID, *69 and oversensitivity, you can be arrested for it.

If it’s sent in a text message, it is called cyberbullying.

Workplace pranks are even better because there are so many tools at your disposal within the building and your co-workers’ cubicles.

Rearrange the items on their desk, unplug their phone, call with a fake emergency or mess with their computer’s settings.

Refer to any episode of NBC’s hit show “The Office” for further more elaborate schemes, such as the time an office mate’s stapler was placed inside a Jello mold.

In our company handbook, this type of behavior is now referred to as horseplay and is strictly prohibited.

So as to not end up in the unemployment line or be hauled away in handcuffs, I think I prefer the subtle prank instead.

When I was working at a Seattle TV station a few years ago, I had an ongoing joke that started with me placing a small petal from a purple flower inside a co-worker’s mail box.

At the time, it was just something dumb to do and I planned on telling her it was from me that week.

Immediately after, she was convinced that the flower came from a director whom she had always thought had a creepy crush on her.

Jackpot.

Soon after, I left candy treats on her desk, more flowers in her mailbox and little weird trinkets in her general vicinity.

Even better, I didn’t spend a single dime on any of it. It was just random things found around the office.

I sat at my desk cool as a cucumber one night after the show when she asked the director if he was sending her the odd tokens of affection.

He replied “No, what are you talking about?”

On my last week at the station, I found an old scone from a box of pastries bought earlier that day and smeared it with jelly and butter and put it on her chair.

For some reason, on this day, that sent her over the edge.

She picked up the phone and shouted out obscenities over the PA system — which echoed through the entire building — wondering who left her the scone.

Since it was thankfully time for me to leave anyway, I sunk my head down under the desk, grabbed my bag and promptly left the building.

When I got to my car, I was laughing so hard tears rolled down my face.

I decided in that moment, I would never tell her.

One month later, she left me a voicemail saying someone had ratted me out and she knew it was me.

She laughed and said I had really pulled one over on her.

Sometimes you can go too far. Sometimes it’s just far enough.

You have to closely study the temperament of your victim, but even I did not expect a public tirade.

So, be subtle or be bold, but just do one little thing today for April Fools’ Day to amuse yourself and, hopefully, others, and break up the stresses of everyday life.

In the spirit of the holiday and full disclosure, I must also confess I’m the one who wrote “congratulations” on the white board that day in the office.

Happy April Fools’, Donelle.